Life With
Master Bundha.

When I found this little rabbit outside, I thought I was rescuing him. Apparently, he had a very different understanding of the arrangement.

According to Master Bundha, I was specifically chosen to provide him with food, shelter, unlimited cheek scratches... and what he describes as ‘general earthly assistance.’

He says he exists simultaneously across every dimension and throughout all of time.

So I asked if, with that level of awareness, he could possibly determine where the litter box ends.

He was deeply offended. Apparently, he has pooped into some of the largest black holes in the universe, and I’m being ‘provincial.’

We have disagreements like this fairly often. I usually lose because halfway through the discussion he starts eating.

He also claims the Great Sphinx originally looked like a rabbit... and that thousands of years of erosion have created a very serious misunderstanding.

I asked him for proof. He gave me this look for about forty-five minutes.

He apparently spent part of eternity playing golf at Pebble Beach. I asked what an omnipotent rabbit shoots. He refuses to discuss his handicap.

He also scuba dives, which seems unnecessary for a being who claims the laws of physics are mostly suggestions.

And sometimes he just paddles down a river. He could instantly appear anywhere in existence... but apparently that would ‘miss the point.’

This is the same eternal cosmic guardian who can spend six consecutive hours lying under my furniture doing absolutely nothing.

Then every so often he disappears into some crystal dimension, impossible library, or place where space itself has stopped making sense.

But somehow he always makes it back exactly when he hears the treat container open. Omnipresence, apparently, has practical applications.

So that’s my life now. I take care of a rabbit who claims to be the eternal, all-knowing guardian of existence... and he reminds me when dinner is late by throwing his bowl. This is Master Bundha. Be One With the Bun.